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What is bullying?

Anti-bullying advice

Bullying affects lots of young people and happens in many schools but it's the way it's dealt with

which makes the difference between life being tolerable or a misery for many.

A definition of bullying

There is no legal definition of bullying. But it is usually defined as repeated behaviour which is

intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people

because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as

appearance or disability.

Bullying can take many forms including:

 physical assault

 teasing

 making threats

 name calling

cyber bullying

Bullying can happen anywhere: at school, travelling to and from school, in sporting teams,

between neighbours or in the workplace.

What is cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying is bullying through a mobile phone or online (eg by email, instant messanger or on

social network sites). Cyber bullying is just as serious. Read more about cyber bullying.

How to deal with bullying at school

If you are being bullied at school, tell a friend, tell a teacher and tell your parents. It won't stop

unless you do. It can be hard to do this so if you don't feel you can do it in person it might be

easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you feel, or perhaps confide in someone

outside the immediate family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin and ask them to help you

tell your parents what's going on.

Your form tutor needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him or her when it won't

be noticeable. You could stay behind on the pretext of needing help with some work. If you don't

feel you can do that, then speak to the school nurse. Don't be tempted to respond to any bullying

or hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.

Bullying includes:

 people calling you names

 making things up to get you into trouble

 hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving

 taking things away from you

 damaging your belongings

 stealing your money

 taking your friends away from you

 posting insulting messages or rumours, in person on the internet or by IM (cyberbullying)

 threats and intimidation

 making silent or abusive phone calls

 sending you offensive phone texts

 bullies can also frighten you so that you don't want to go to school, so that you pretend to be ill to avoid them

Bullying and body language

Body language tells us a lot about other people. Think about the last time you walked into school.

How did you feel? Confident and powerful? Or timid and worried? If you're trying not to be noticed

and looking at the ground a lot while darting into school it can make you more noticeable. You

look defensive and vulnerable. If you step out boldly you send out a quite different message of

confidence. You may not be very confident but you'll certainly look it.

Hitting someone is an assault

Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other

people. If you are hurt at school, tell a teacher immediately and ask for it to be written down.

Make sure you tell your parents.

Bullying is upsetting

Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your

doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to

write a note for the school explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.

People bully others about perceived differences, including appearance, religion, behaviour,

disabilities or illness, family, even how well you are doing at school or how popular you are. It is

always best to try and dismiss bullying remarks. If a bully sees that they can upset you then they

will keep trying. Many people are the victim of bullying and it is important to remember that noone

should be bullied.